Why Starting Feels So Hard Sometimes: A neurodivergent perspective on procrastination during exam season and beyond.

In the UK we’re right in the middle of exam season.  University Students have probably ended formal teaching and are frantically writing assignments, while younger students are revising and taking GCSE’s and A Levels.  It’s a stressful time for students and families alike and, if the student in question is also neurodivergent, they may be struggling even more with the dreaded procrastination.  

But procrastination is something most people experience at some point, whether in academia, work or everyday life.  So here’s some insight into what might be getting in the way, along with some pointers on what can help, especially if ADHD or Autism are part of the picture.

1. Procrastination Isn’t Laziness

Firstly, let’s reframe what many people think procrastination is, laziness.  I’ve met many students in the therapy room struggling with procrastination and they all want to do the work.  The issue is usually about a dysregulated nervous system that’s overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of the task, is unclear about what’s required of them, is scared of failing and easily wrapped up in perfectionism.  

Those of us who are neurodivergent often experience these things more intensely, which can make procrastination much harder to manage.

Taking care of the nervous system that’s trying to protect you rather than waiting for motivation to magically appear is the key to getting started.  

2. The “Invisible Barriers” That Stop You Starting

Getting more specific about what’s preventing you getting going, here are some common issues:-

• The task feels too vague.  In your head you probably have “write essay” or “clean house” as the headline which by itself is not very specific. 

• The task feels too big.  Of course it does, essays are long and houses have many rooms.

• There is no clear starting point.  Assignment briefs don’t usually include step by step instructions.  This is something that emerging adults really struggle with, the realisation that they have to start making decisions themselves about how they plan a task or spend their time.  Many adults with ADHD talk openly about struggling to stay on top of housework and life admin for exactly the same reasons. 

• Emotional resistance.  Strong emotions are often what stop us getting started.  Shame that you haven’t done it yet, anxiety that you’ll never get it done and boredom, because let’s face it - writing assignments, revising or housework aren’t everyone’s idea of fun.   

• Time blindness.  People with ADHD often struggle with this, a submission date in mid June feels intangible and far away compared to what feels interesting and important right now. 

3. Make the Task Smaller Than Your Resistance

This is probably one of the most common pieces of advice given that you’ve doubtless heard before. So I’d like to give some concrete examples here that have helped me, plus advice I’ve heard from clients:-

Making the first step ridiculously small.

• Enter the room where you need to do the task.

• Commit to a very small amount of time on task (5 minutes) then you can take a break if you want to.

• Just prepare the environment (tidy desk, gather books, light a candle, put focus music on, get the ironing board out). 

• Create the blank document and write the title.  

Now think about a task you’ve been avoiding, can you use any of these small steps or something like them to just move towards the task rather than committing to anything big?

4. Borrow Motivation 

Often we procrastinate something because we’re waiting for motivation to appear.  Unfortunately it rarely works like that.  Motivation is usually created by taking action, even that tiny small step I talked about above.  Then a bit of external structure can be really helpful to keep going:-

• Body doubling.  This is something I personally find very helpful.  Working alongside others (crucially those people also want to focus on working!) is a great way of keeping you on task for a set amount of time as well as feeling less alone with it.  I’ve used Focus Mate which allows a few free sessions a week where you connect with people all over the world and work together online.  I also meet another therapist weekly for online body doubling which helps me get things like writing this piece done!  Many people with ADHD find working in cafes helpful for that reason.  A client of mine puts on a YouTube video of someone studying in the background while they do their own.

• Timers.  You’ve probably heard of the Pomodoro technique where you work for around 20 minutes then take a break for a walk around, make a drink etc.  This can work well for neurodivergent brains as there is a clear stop point with something nice at the end as a reward and creates a gentle sense of urgency.  

5. Lower the Bar

The more we procrastinate, the more guilt and shame tend to build up around the task. Unfortunately, shame rarely motivates people for long.  More often, it increases avoidance and makes the task feel even heavier.

It’s better to have something started that can be polished later than nothing at all.  Attempting to do everything perfectly straight away can run you straight into feeling the task is too insurmountable.  

• Give yourself permission to write a very messy first draft.  Just get the ideas down, brain dump in your own words.  You can go back later and refine it into something more academic!  

• If it’s housework you’re struggling with or even looking after yourself in some way, do it with minimal effort if that’s what you can manage.  It provides your brain with evidence that you can do something.  Get your exercise mat out and just stretch for 5 minutes.  Tidy a few items away.  These small actions might just build a bit of momentum. 

• Stop early if you need to. Doing things in shorter bursts will feel less difficult.  

  
  

6. Work With Your Brain, Not Against It

We all have days when we have very little energy.   Either due to hormonal shifts or poor sleep and those with Autism and ADHD feel this more and can experience days when they are on fire and days when the brain feels mushy and exhausted.  Working with this rather than forcing a schedule is key:-

• If you’ve had a high energy day and got lots done, give yourself permission to rest the next if you’re not feeling it rather than pushing through. 

• Work with what’s most interesting or novel to start with as a way in.  

• Urgency is another driver for ADHD brains, they are famous for turning in an amazing piece of work right on the deadline.  

• If you’re losing focus on a task, allow yourself to switch to something else rather than trying to force it.

• Again, short bursts of work rather than planning long sessions. 

  
  

7. When You Still Can’t Start

There are times when for whatever reason you are frozen and just can’t get going.  Rather than staying in this paralysis and feeling worse, try these things:-

• Acknowledge it honestly by saying to yourself, 'I can’t start this task here and now'.

• Change your environment, a fresh perspective can help.

• Write down what’s making the task feel hard or talk to a friend. 

• Take a proper break - not scrolling but a short walk, make some food, read a book, take a nap.

  
  

8. Final Thoughts

Procrastination is an experience most people have so try not to think of it as a character flaw or that there’s something wrong with you as this can be used as reason not to try.  Instead, experiment with some of the tips above and find out what works for you.  And be prepared for what works for you to change over time and try something else; this is far better than trying to instil discipline or a restrictive schedule on yourself that’s impossible to keep up with leading to shame spirals.  

I hope this has been helpful, and if you’re taking exams or writing assignments, I wish you good luck, it will all be over before you know it! 

Karen Charman - BSc Hons Psych MBACP

karen@elephascounselling.co.uk

Counsellor Primarily Supporting ADHD and Autistic Adults 

• ICF Coach in Training.

• Diploma in Humanistic Counselling

• Registered Member of the BACP

• BSc Hons Psychology

• Practising face to face in South East Hampshire, near Portsmouth & Chichester and Online UK wide.